I sat on the cushy pew wondering how the pastor might pull a good mother’s day message from this passage. One mother killed her own baby by accident and the other mother had her baby taken away - stolen. It was as if I was watching a movie unfold as he told his rendition of the passage and added bits of color here and there to help us to understand exactly what was going on. I was enthralled with the ending message. It was this:

Motherhood is a spirit.

Some people will tell you that in order to be a mother, you must have given birth to a child. And while that is a common secular definition of motherhood, it is not in the spirit of motherhood. For even if we go back to earlier communities, familiar phrases such as this one pierce our ears: “It takes a village to raise a child.” Motherhood then is not something done in a vacuum. It’s not a single act performed by a single person every single day. But true motherhood is a spirit and a gifting. Can I get an amen from the foster and adoptive parents?!

It is not the birthing process that makes one a mother. But instead, it’s the responses that follow. Many elderly women, whose feet that I’ve had the opportunity to sit at tell me this, “getting the baby here is the easy part.” (They must have been excluding labor – I’ve seen videos and getting the baby here looks anything but easy – but I also understand what they were saying.) That’s the single part – one person can do that. Everything beyond the birth should involve community.

What then do we make of some mothers who, upon striking out on this adventure, refuse to heed wise counsel? Those who would reject community? What then can we say to those who have been given godly wisdom to impart?

We realize this: those who refuse wise counsel, ARE within their rights to refuse the counsel. My mother always said “a hard head makes a soft behind.” Life will whip them into the knowledge of the wisdom that you were trying to impart. Nevertheless, these mother’s have the right to choose their own path. Just like you have the right to choose your own path.

However, those who have been given wise counsel to share ARE NOT excused from sharing the counsel. No matter how uncomfortable it is to say to that mother, you must remember that you are a messenger. Your job is not to comfort the mother nor appease her, but instead to give her the message. So, give the message, and move on. Often times, the mother’s refusal is not personal, so don’t take it that way. If you have been given godly wisdom and the permission to share it, then by all means, share it. If the mother refuses your wisdom, she will answer to God for that. Just like the offer of salvation, all you have to do is to tell the good news, the choice to receive the good news is up to the sinner. In this example, just share the advice that was laid on your heart.

And to the pastor's point, you are not disqualified from giving advice to mothers if you do not have children. Motherhood is a spirit. And, like in the passage the pastor preached, simply put, some mothers simply have more sense than others. Some mothers are better equipped than others. And, some women have been given the spirit of Motherhood and make for excellent mothers to children who have never shared their womb. Let me repeat - community is essential.

So, don’t be dismayed and don’t be discouraged if you share some information with a mother who doesn’t think you know what you’re talking about. She may just not know herself or she may be in a position where she just refuses to receive it from you for whatever reason. You do what God leads you to do and everything else will take care of itself. Now, that is a guarantee.

Mother by secular definition - walk in your motherhood spirit.

Mother without evidence from the womb - walk in your motherhood spirit.

It's a partnership. It's about community. And, it's all good.

God Bless You!