Death is common to all, yet when it reaches inside your family, it takes on a depth that is unmistakable. A friend of mine lost his grandmother just a few short days ago. And, while I join in support with his friends, I can only imagine the pain that his heart must feel. For when I lost my maternal grandparents, the loss was unimaginable to me.

When my maternal grandmother died, I was young in my faith. I could not understand why her life had taken so many turns that got progressively worse. I could not understand why this sweet woman that loved me and helped raise me would have to be confined both physically and mentally. She spent her last days in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s.

When my maternal grandfather died, I had matured a bit more but I still wondered why he was taken from me. This death felt more personal. After my grandmother died, I clung more closely to grandfather. We would have lunch together and spend the day together. And, by lunch, that meant me picking up some of his favorite fast-food and bringing it to his house. We would sit in the recliners and kick our feet up, talk, eat and sleep (nod off). Going to see my grandfather was a bit of a mini-vacation to me. The pace of life was slower and things that troubled me were checked at the door.

So, when I lost both maternal grandparents, I was thrown for more than a loop. Hearing of my friend’s loss has taken me back to a place of remembrance. The flood of memories of my grandparents have warmed me. I am reminded of their love and their care. I am reminded of their character and their ways. If they were still alive, I wonder what new memories we would have created together. I still have the bicycle that my grandfather purchased for me when I was ten years old. It is stored in my garage now. I still have the patio set that we all sat on time and time again. I still cherish their lives and their ministry that preached to me even when I was unaware. I look back now and can hear their sermons when I reflect on their legacy.

I still don’t understand why they died when they died. I have come to accept that it’s not for me to know. I do trust God and His perfect timing. For the people in your lives that you love, do spend time with them. Do make the time. For if it should happen that you are the one left behind, you will have your memories to cherish, now and forever.