I liked Whitney Houston. I remember her songs from my childhood. I remember the conversations when she debuted about how she came from good stock – a dynamic trio of singers – her mom, her aunt and her godmom. I remember it like it was yesterday. Her star was bright. She was always so poised in those earlier years – living above the fray. And, if she did anything unseemly, nothing emerged to tarnish her image. Then she met and married Bobby Brown. He was notorious for being a “bad boy”.
The two couldn’t seem more opposite but we only have the exterior to judge. The marriage was, well, a bit untraditional and in my estimation, strange. But, what do I really know? Only what I’ve seen; only edited clips of conversations and scenes. The vast majority of us have no idea about how Whitney really was personally. And no matter how many interviews we watched, we don’t know her true self. We don’t know what it’s like to speak with her on the phone or have her in our home for dinner. We’ve not been a guest at her home and shared private moments. We only know about the image we have in our minds. So at the news of her death, I struggle with how many people have become subject matter experts on Whitney Houston.
The two couldn’t seem more opposite but we only have the exterior to judge. The marriage was, well, a bit untraditional and in my estimation, strange. But, what do I really know? Only what I’ve seen; only edited clips of conversations and scenes. The vast majority of us have no idea about how Whitney really was personally. And no matter how many interviews we watched, we don’t know her true self. We don’t know what it’s like to speak with her on the phone or have her in our home for dinner. We’ve not been a guest at her home and shared private moments. We only know about the image we have in our minds. So at the news of her death, I struggle with how many people have become subject matter experts on Whitney Houston.
I know there is an audience wanting to hear every sordid detail of her life and times; thus the media is ready to deliver whatever they can, however they can. I was watching one famed journalist adamantly proclaim that she knew the cause of death. But how could she really know when there is only speculation. Nothing has been confirmed. At the time of her declaration, toxicology analysis was still underway. And the very thing this famed journalist declared was the cause of death is increasingly looking like it was not. Details matter.
The only person who is a subject matter expert on Whitney is gone. So instead of elevating ourselves to such a state, would it not be better simply to hush the speculation and simply pray for the family? If we, as a nation of music lovers, were shocked by Whitney’s sudden death, how do we think her family feels? The same family that loves her more than we could ever know. The same family that has been with her through the good times and the bad times. Yes, the same family that watched the little girl with excellent vocals in the gospel choir, rise to world-wide stardom. Their family member, who was called “the voice”, long before there was a TV show of the same name is gone.
It’s time that we show a bit more compassion towards the family. A mother has lost her daughter and a daughter has lost her mother. If you pray to God, lift a prayer for the family and for all who grieve. And if you don’t pray, show a bit of respect and grace by not talking about things you are not privy to know firsthand.
Rest in Peace Whitney. Below is a video from Whitney on the Oprah show . We had such hope for her then. Let's keep that hope alive now for her daughter and for the healing that has to take place.
